May 7, 2011 " Feast of St. Stanislaus, Bishop and Martyr
It is sunny and about 58 degrees at 9:38 am

From the daily reading from the "Henri Nouwen " website:

"Right Living and Right Speaking"

To be a witness for God is to be a living sign of God's presence in the world. What we live is more important tham what we say. becuase the right way of living always leads to the right way of speaking. When we forgive neighbors from our hearts, our hearts will speak forgiving words. When we are grateful, we will speak grateful words, amd when we are hopeful and joyful, we will speak hopeful and joyful words.

When our words come too soon and we are not yet living what we are saying, we easily give double messages. Givind double messages- one with our words and another with our actions- makes us hypocrites. May our our lives give us the right words and may our words leads to right life.

ALSO

"Taking Up Our Crosses"

Jesus says: "If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him.....take up his cross and follow me"(Matthew 16:24) He does not say: "Make a Cross" or "Look for a cross." Each of us has a cross to carry. There is no need to make one or look for one. The cross we have is hard enough for us! But we are willingto take it up, to accpet it as our cross?

Maybe we can't study. maybe we are handicapped. maybe we suffer from depression, maybe we experience conflict in our families, maybe we are victims of violence or abuse. We didn't choose any of it, but these things are our crosses. We can ignore them. reject them, refuse them or hate them. But we can also take up these crosses and follow Jesus with them.

"One brother wrote me on Friday after ASh Wednesday 2006"

When I think of you I find a man of contradictions. You are so prayerful and so concerned for others, yet seems to be a sense of uncertianity in regard to your own self. (I can sometimes identify with those feelings. Both you and I often forget who is in charge of our lives.) I want you to know that I see you as my Brother who loves Christ and His church and His saints above everything else; who loves the Blessed Virgin; who has earned a place of love and respect within our Community: who loves spending time in study, prayer and contemplation. I admire these qualities very much. So today I pray that God will continue to bless your Lenten preparation; that you will feel the arms of christ ever around you and caressing you as his child and providing you with every gift that life has to offer both in this world and in our eternal life of His ressurection.

Personal comments:

As you look at the above picture, it is the "Profession Cross".

1. Profession
2. Right Living and Right Speaking
3. Carrying our crosses
4. Thoughts of what brother thought of me.

1)Profession is made directly to God in the presence of the community. The Vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience for life are taken. Besides these, our commitment to follow "The Rule of the Brotherhood of Gregory for Life". Knowing from experience of being in a monastic community, living a religious life is easier to live but your life is a constant flow from the time you arise in the morning through the daily office, meditation, study, work, meals until the end of the day. In a modern comtemporary community like BSG, life as religious is much harder to live. I live in the secular world: work, shopping, owing a home, bills, etc. so that having some schedule for saying the daily office, prayer, meditation and study and being of service as a brother in our local church or...... My personal life when I became a Brother is a "transformation" or " conversion" or "a deeper commitment to God. Brothers in BSG are involved with relationships and families which adds more difficulty, but for me being single, should be easier for me to live a good spiritual life.

2) Right Living and Right Speaking: In my experience of being in various churches, I have heard from former rectors and members of how I changes their lives with my presence of love concern and spirituality. For me, it is difficut to see what they see, all I see is "a contradition", " a very sinful man". The outer me shows a brother and my words speak as one, the inner me shows like I said a contradiction and a very sinful man with no actions to back that up. In order to be Christian, by living the Baptismal Vows which are enhanced by my take my profession vows, there has to be words and actions. Life should be lived fully and in the presence of Jesus Christ, Living as "What Would Jesus do" mentality. The road to being with Christ is long and hard at times. Each day is another day to make positive steps in the spiritual life, but there are days where are negative steps where I fall down and just showing the human side of my life. For me it is a constant concentrating on "The Practice of Jesus all through my day".

3) Caring our crosses: Henri Nouwen really spoke about this. Yes, I suffer from depression and anxiety and I talke three different medications, but most days, I slip ang deeper into depression and aniety hits and I want to seclude myselfm from the world and stay at home and not go anywhere. This is my cross to bear. I need to accep the fact that illness will be there and getting better is a slow process. I have to have the courage and trust to bear the cross just as Jesus carried his cross to Calvary. He fell three times, but I constantly fall, fall deep and it takes me longer to get up and began to carry that cross again

4) What a bother thought me: I have already mentioned some of that in the above. The Br. Luke and MR. Luke need to be complete as one and to live the life of a Brother with words and actions.
This is not for what people will say about me, but for me to know that my Life is For Christ, With Christ and In Christ.

Life continues.....prepartion for returning to our true home, eternal life with my departed brothers and sisters and associates, with Godm Our lady and my family members.

May this day be one of success with Christ walking with me. God bless all!